And so I practice with the metronome

Albeit a week later.

Had a productive practice session today after coming back from camp. Set the metronome as instructed, gradually ramping up the speed as I progressed. Tic toc tic toc. And then amazing things happened. I could feel the security coming into my fingers, with a rhythmic precision that had eluded me for so long. It was especially enlightening when my natural pulse wavered from the cold precision of the metronome, showing where my instincts had failed me, and gradually, things just clicked - notes fell in place, rhythms became exact, and a sense of joy of playing overcame me. It's moments like these musicians live for I think, when we are in total control of the instrument, without the slightest expense of muscular effort. It's always been difficult for me separating internal emotional tension from the physical muscular tension that is so important in playing, so I especially treasure moments like today where things just happen, as if I'm an external listener to my own playing. Very motivated, I proceeded on, taking advantage of my form, and learning up the exposition of the Ravel trio.

Something amusing happened in camp over the past week. Basically a wave of obsession over tai ti (the card game where 2 is the biggest) engulfed my officers who are on course with me currently. Yes, they play it every night, and in my bunk too, which made it extremely annoying the first night, where they went on for the entire night, leaving us to sleep with the lights on. Indeed, I slept fitfully on the first night, and amusingly subconsciously learnt that if you don't get to throw any cards and someone manages to win, then you lose 39 points. In any case, I realized that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and so I joined in the gambling party, losing some money in the process, since I'm a noob at tai ti. Well, what's the most amusing thing is that the whole affair reminded me of what a good friend once said that once the officers are distracted by these playthings, we would be able to enjoy life, since bored officers tend to like to indulge in interesting activities where we become their playthings, like making us march round and round our company line. So the entire situation where a couple of us troopers were asked, and sometimes emotionally blackmailed, to play cards with the officers resembled prostitution, where we sold our bodies to the officers as their playthings all night in return for an unstable income, rendering them bedridden from the previous night's exertions, and so totally distracting them from enforcing any kind of discipline on the rest of us. Ah the great sacrifices we make.

Tomorrow I will be productive. Will wake up reasonably early, do more psc essay and then go for Wang Jian's Dvorak. Quite enthusiastic about that - it is definitely one of my favorites. Has there ever been a more vivid depiction of heroism in music? The nobility, the tenderness, the richness of melody... love the duet between the cello and violin near the end of the last movement. I do hope Wang Jian lives up to my expectations!